


look how far we've come, my baby

by lightninghowells



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dan and Phil World Tour 2018: Interactive Introverts, Fluff, Fluffy, Introspection, M/M, Reminiscing, how do people tag stuff, interactive introverts, this is about the LA show you get it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 21:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightninghowells/pseuds/lightninghowells
Summary: after the ii show in la, dan and phil have a little heart to heart over pizza.





	look how far we've come, my baby

Fans scream with surprise as red and white confetti explodes from cannons at either end of the expansive stage. Phil shoots a giddy, knowing look down at Dan from atop the piano as they harmonize the end of their catchy closing song. 

They each give a small bow when the song finishes for the second time that night. They run to the very front of the stage to wave frantically at their audience, shouting _ thank you for coming’s _ and  _ we love you’s _ all the way to the fans in the very back of the crowd.

Passing Dan on his way to bid farewell to fans he had yet to thank, Phil catches a glimpse of Dan’s infectious grin and the slight gloss that covers his brown eyes. He feels a tightness in his chest that he knows he’ll have to contain until they are back in their hotel room. Pride.

They run back towards the white grand piano, still waving as the platform pulls them away from their endlessly adoring audience. As the screen lowers to conceal them from view, Phil lets out a breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding and Dan takes his hand in response.

Phil’s eyes trail from the familiar, sweaty hand gripping his up to meet his boyfriend’s face, which is still turned towards the theater. Dan’s eyes are shining like Phil had only seen a handful of times before and he looks the slightest bit stunned. It’s an expression that signals to Phil that Dan is genuinely proud of himself, astonished at the life he has created.

Phil stares for a while before bringing Dan’s hand up to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin covering the back of it. Dan breathes a shaky breath in and brings his face into Phil’s full view. His face is wet with sweat and tears and his wide smile reveals crinkles in his eyes and dimples in his cheeks. His eyelashes look even longer and darker than usual thanks to the water in his eyes and Phil thinks it might be the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

_____

Dan places the key card into the lock and pushes the door open with his left hand, his right occupied with holding Phil’s. They are greeted by the recognizable smell of a fresh hotel room as they drop their luggage near the foot of their beds. 

“I’m gonna hop in the shower,” Dan alerts his boyfriend, “D’you wanna call for pizza?”

Phil nods happily. “What kind?” 

“Whatever you want,” Dan raises an eyebrow, “as long as you get all the dips.”

Phil grasps at his chest in mock offense. “I’m hurt you would think I could possibly forget!”

“You are  _ such _ a drama queen,” Dan fonds, leaning into Phil clumsily for a kiss. He feels his boyfriend’s smile against his own and hopes this warm fluttery feeling in his chest lasts forever.

Dan sighs when he enters the bathroom. The sweet surreal feeling of a night that is sure to be retold for years to come lingers in their hotel room. Cliche as it is, Dan feels like he’s living in a dream. His heart is full and his smile everlasting, knowing every move he has made and is yet to make tonight will remain a permanent memory for him and so many others.

Dan lets the steaming water run down his face and hold his curls to his forehead. He hadn’t felt this way after the big Hollywood show during their first tour, and he can’t quite place what’s changed.

Perhaps it’s the heightened honesty of this show. It being different every night makes him feel even closer to his and Phil’s viewers, with whom he had never connected in this way before. 

Perhaps it’s the thinner veil he and Phil have placed over their relationship over the past few years. The shameless flirty banter littering nearly every upload, the little fond affirmations they were no longer compelled to edit out. The feeling that the fans had caught on, and the fact that he felt perfectly okay with them knowing. More than okay. Comfortable, even. It felt infinitely more comfortable than just five years ago, and that made him so damn proud. Proud of himself, and proud of Phil.

Phil. It always comes back around to Phil. Dan often wonders what his life would be like if he hadn’t relentlessly tweeted at his favorite youtuber all those years ago, before “youtuber” was even a word. He wonders if he would have finished school, if he would have been stuck at a job he hated. If he would have ever fallen in love with anyone else. 

He couldn’t imagine sharing this life with anyone but Phil. Mainly because this life is entirely due to Phil. Phil, who encouraged him to start his Youtube channel in the first place. Phil, who reassured him his videos were good enough, that  _ he _ was good enough. Who always reminded him how much he meant to him. Phil, who gave Dan the foundation he needed to finally learn how to love himself.

_____

“Thank you,” Phil shoots a grin at the courier as he scoops the towering stack of food into his arms.

Phil sets the boxes on the tiny hotel desk before meeting Dan on the bed. There’s a fresh bed right beside him, but tonight is too damn special for them not to cram their long bodies and copious amount of food onto one mattress. There is no way Phil is putting any distance between himself and Dan tonight.

Phil sinks into the plush of the duvet and brings his pyjama-clad legs under him to match Dan’s position. 

“Before we eat, there’s something I want to tell you,” Phil exhales, sounding slightly more formal than he had intended. 

Dan visibly sits up a little straighter. “Okay…” his voice wavers worriedly.

“Don’t be worried,” He places a hand on Dan’s knee, giving him a reassuring smile. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m super super proud of you.”

Dan rolls his head back in relief, the dimple in his cheek revealing itself to Phil. “I know that, you idiot.”

“No, Dan, like… like sincerely. Doing the show with you tonight made me think about how much we’ve grown and … and how now is so different from when we could hardly even do a YouNow together without feeling…” Phil had way too many emotions about this night to form them neatly into words.  “... I dunno…” 

He lets out a nervous, breathy laugh and scrubs his hand down his face. Why is it that, after almost nine years together, he still manages to make a bumbling fool of himself? 

“Scared?” Dan finishes, looking down at his own hands. The dimple in his cheek had become deeper and his voice cracks like he might cry.

Phil feels his pulse quicken. He really hopes this is a happy cry. He grabs Dan’s hand and runs his thumb over the smooth skin there. 

“Dan?”

“How do you do that, Lester?” a light, high pitched laugh escapes Dan’s lips. “How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?”

“What d’you mean?”

Dan is still looking down at his hand, now being caressed by Phil’s. The corners of his lips lift the tiniest bit. “I was thinking about it when I was in the shower, like, how much everything’s changed and how far we’ve come and all. It’s like everything we’ve always wanted is coming true and it makes me so so happy, and… proud.”

Phil’s heart does that flippy-over thing it does when Dan gets sentimental. Or when Dan does just about anything.

Phil brings his free hand up to his boyfriend’s cheek, “I actually wanted to thank you for that. For getting us to this point where it just feels… good. Comfortable.”

The way Dan nudges into his palm sends the familiar feeling of fuzzy fondness into his chest and stomach. Butterflies.

“Thank  _ me _ ? You’re absolutely ridiculous. This was definitely all your fault”

Dan laughs that breathy laugh again, and lifts those pretty brown eyes to look into Phil’s. He can hardly take it. How does this man get more gorgeous every minute?

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Dan,” Phil insists, taking a more serious tone and dropping his hand from Dan’s face.

“I mean, you’re the one who finally convinced me to do this,” Phil gestured up to his hair, “You’re the one who made me feel confident enough to start being more myself, you know? You said I didn’t have to be, like, AmazingPhil all the time, and now look where we are. You wanted to be more open with our audience and you…”

Phil braced himself for the utterly mushy thing he was about to say, “You made me feel brave enough to follow you.”

He wipes at the newly-fallen moisture under Dan’s eyes. They were going to a really lovey-dovey place tonight, and Phil liked that. It felt right.

“This is so stupid,” Dan wipes his hands over his face and rubs them dry on his pyjama bottoms. “I was gonna thank  _ you _ for everything but I didn’t wanna be too cheesy.”

Phil laughs. “You think _ that _ wasn’t cheesy? You must have a really high bar set for cheesiness, Howell.”

Dan giggles at his attempt to lighten the mood.

“Y’know…” Phil starts, “you could still do that.” He pokes Dan’s side with his elbow playfully. “Like, thank me for everything or profess your undying love to me or whatever.”

Dan shakes his head and chuckles. “Later, the pizza’s getting cold.” He shoots a cheeky look at his boyfriend, “Priorities, Phil.”

_____

They rearrange the food boxes on the bed for a proper Insta story post. They had to commemorate this night, they knew the fans would be expecting some sort of celebration on a night like this.

Phil pulls his phone from his pocket to record the story, fixing his hair and straightening out his glasses before hitting record.

“We are celebrating finishing the LA show-” he starts, expecting Dan to complete his thought.

He does so cheerfully, “the only way we know how!”

Phil flips the camera to show the food they ordered what feels to be years ago, way too much for two people.

“Yaaas” he hums as he pans the camera to display the two pizzas, two boxes of sides, and, of course, Dan’s dips.

“Yaaaaaaassss” Dan repeats after him in a goofy high-pitched voice. Phil can’t help but giggle as his heart fills with warmth.

Phil leans to the side to place his phone face down on the side table, the rest of the night is just for them.

_____

“So…” Phil voices through a mouthful of pizza before swallowing, “Your little speech.”

“Oh! Right” Dan straightens his spine and clears his throat. He puts on a dramatic voice, “Sir Philip Lester, to whom I owe-”

“Daaan” Phil groans.

Dan giggles, wiping his hands with a napkin. “Fine, fine. I was thinking about what my life would be like if I had never met you, I mean, yeah, you’re the one who got me to start Youtube in the first place, but even more than that… If not for you supporting me through, like,  _ everything _ ,” he draws out the word for emphasis, “I wouldn’t be the person I am now, and I doubt I’d even like myself if it hadn’t been for you liking me first.”

“There you go again, not taking credit! You’re the only person who could make you love yourself Dan, not me.” Phil refutes reassuringly.

“It isn’t about taking credit!” Dan blurts.

Phil’s eyes widen in surprise at his shift in tone.

“Sorry,” Dan softens, “what I mean is… I guess it’s both of us. Dan-and-Phil, y’know? We’re only in the place we are now, touring the world being the fullest versions of us we’ve  _ ever _ been because we’re Dan-and-Phil… Does that make sense?”

Phil reaches out for his boyfriend’s hand, careful not to spill the dips they have precariously sat on the duvet. “Of course it does. Like, everyone came tonight to see  _ us, together _ . They say it all the time don’t they? We complete each other, Dan. Two halves of a whole idiot.”

Dan giggles and pushes Phil’s knee away from him. “Hey, this whole idiot made a pretty amazing life for ourselves though, haven’t we?”

“I’d say so,” Phil sighs, allowing himself to get lost in those big brown eyes he loves so much.

They’re deep like chocolate, and they always just look so kind. So warm and inviting. Phil follows the light splattering of freckles along his cheeks down the bridge of his nose to see those soft pink lips turned upwards into a fond smile. He could melt.

“Booo,” Dan drones, snapping Phil out of his trance.

“Booo,” Phil nods in agreement.

Together they cleared the mostly-empty boxes of food off of the bed, ultimately deciding to sleep in the cleaner bed tonight for lack of crumbs and greasy residue. They climb into bed, Dan tucking himself snugly under Phil’s arm and nuzzling into his chest. Phil places a kiss into Dan’s soft curls. Bellies full, they drift to sleep ready to take on the world the way they do best:  _ together _ .


End file.
